Ridiculous Baseball Names of Spring Training | The Golden Sombrero Baseball Blog | MLB, Fantasy, College & High School Baseball News

Ridiculous Baseball Names of Spring Training

After a long and arduous offseason, the beginning of Cactus and Grapefruit League play has officially ushered in the 2011 season.  For prospect junkies like myself, Spring Training is one of the more exciting portions of the MLB season; an opportunity to watch the future of the game alongside future members of the Hall of Fame.

Sometimes, however, there are simply way too many players to follow.  In any given Spring Training game you are bound to see a slew of players with completely unfamiliar names, and jersey numbers that edge triple-digits and more appropriate for an NFL lineman or receiver.

But if you were to take a few minutes to scan each team’s respective roster – that’s right, numbers 1 through 99 – you’d naturally assume that many of these players are bound for greatness.  Or at least their names would lead you to believe so…


When I hear names like Buster Posey, Brooks Conrad, Skip Schumaker and Clete Thomas, my first thought is, “That lucky bastard was predisposed to a solid, big league career.”  Although I’m fully aware that a great baseball name is in no way correlated with actual success, its power to distinguish a player is undeniable.

Therefore, I feel compelled to highlight some of Spring Training’s best names – believe me, there are some good ones – as well as some of the worst and most ridiculous.  If I’ve overlooked any gems, be sure to comment and I’ll add it to our list.

Best:

Bubba Bell (Billy Wayne Bell), RF, Boston Red Sox

With a name like Bubba, you’d better be a damn good ball player or have the ability to wrestle a fully-grown alligator into submission.

Ryne Reynoso, P, Boston Red Sox

Personally, I still prefer Renee Russo.

Tucker Barnhart, C, Cincinnati Reds

After completing boarding school, Barnhart spent several years yachting on the Mediterranean Sea, probably while wearing something with a monogram.

Daniel Dorn, LF, Cincinnati Reds

Poor Daniel…if only he played for the Tribe.  Imagine the potential marketing ploy!

(Robert) Cord Phelps, 2B, Cleveland Indians

You know you’re a baseball player if you willingly go by Cord when your name is Robert.

(Allan) Cutter Dykstra, 3B, Milwaukee Brewers

Considering that he’s the seed of Lenny, I’m pretty sure that the IRS will soon forcefully repossess the name Cutter.

Tagg Bozied (Robert Tanois Taggert Bozied), 1B/3B/OF, Philadelphia Phillies

This guy is a broadcaster’s dream, and at the same time, a potential nuisance for Phillies’ fans.  I can already hear the call of his first big league home run: “Tagg tagged it!” Rough.

Worst/Ridiculous:

Charlie Furbush, P, Detroit Tigers

I’ve got nothing here. Charlie unanimously wins the blue ribbon.

Brad Hand, P, Florida Marlins

I think it’s safe to assume that Brad has been tormented his entire life, which still doesn’t compare to the endless ridicule that Furbush has endured.

Michael Dubee, P, Pittsburgh Pirates

The son of the Brewers’ pitching coach Rich Dubee, Mike apparently enters the game to Bob Marley’s, “One Love,” and has a wardrobe that consists of strictly tie-dye.

Tobi Stoner, P, New York Mets

The second that Tobi becomes a mainstay in the big leagues, his jersey will surely grace the front window of every New York headshop.

Mark Hamburger, P, Texas Rangers

Mark’s name gives a whole new meaning to the expression, “Meat.”

7 Comments

  1. A couple of Mark Hamburger stories:
    1. The pitchers were running in the outfield under the watchful eye of the pitching coach. Hamburger started to get behind and the coached yelled, “Hurry up, Hamburger, catch up.”
    2. Ron Washington was looking over his minor league sheets and noticed Hamburger has struck out 8.2 batters per nine innings in his minor league career. Washington then notes that Hamburger must have some mustard on his fastball.
    3. Hamburger pitched last week after Nefti Feliz. Feliz pitched well but Hamburger was ground up.
    4. Imagine if Hamburger’s wife was named Patty?

  2. Oh! A couple more:
    1. In batting practice, Hamburger is showing a good fastball. The batter yells to his coach: “That Hamburger has some cheese!”
    2. Hamburger gets into a game and throws a high hard one to the batter. The color man on the broadcast states that Hamburger got up in his grill.
    3. Hamburger gets in a bases loaded jam and the announcer mentions that Hamburger is in a pickle now.
    4. The manager comes out to the mound to get the ball from Hamburger. While the relief pitcher comes in, the manager doesn’t want the pitcher to be discouraged and gives Hamburger a pat on his buns.

  3. Franco says:

    Great list of entertaining names. I bet Stoner and Dubee are pretty tight and spend their off seasons in a van down by the river… Thanks for the shout out.

  4. Franco says:

    PS. William, you’re cracking me up… please continue to move down the list of names. I’ll get you started-
    Announcer after Dubee or Stoner gets a swinging strike out on a fastball: “Man, looks like Dubee/Stoner is blowing smoke tonight!”

  5. William says:

    hehe Franco. Reminds me of when the LaRoche brothers are on a hot streak. They are smoking on that LaRoche clip. And then there is Anibal-ic Sanchez for the Marlins. How does he ever pass a drug test?

  6. Go Phils says:

    Just saying, but Michael Dubee’s father, Rich Dubee, is the pitching coach for the Phillies, not the Brewers.

  7. Jimmy CubFan says:

    Anybody ever hear of Orville Overall? He once had 4 strikeouts in one inning in a World Series Game

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