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Brett Wallace’s Thighs: The Eighth Wonder of the World

Some little-known facts about Brett Wallace and his massive thighs:

  • With certain breeds of dogs, you can get an idea of how big they will be based upon the size of their paws as a puppy.  At two-years-old, Wallace’s thighs suggested a career as a corner infielder.
  • Brett Wallace’s thighs have thighs.
  • With those tree trunks, all of his baseball pants are naturally pro-flared.
  • In 2010, Wallace was traded twice due to his unsightliness in khakis.
  • Wallace has never sat in the middle seat on an airplane.
  • He once tried on a pair of skinny jeans.
  • He once got stuck in a pair of skinny jeans.
  • He’s never been considered top heavy.
  • His lower half was the inspiration behind EvoShield’s first products.
  • Brett Wallace can out-leg press Yoenis Cespedes in his sleep.

Wow.

Colby Rasmus: As interesting as a house plant

H/T to Matt Sebek of JoeSportsFan.com for his breakdown of Colby’s backwoods-gangster lingo.  This video is an absolute gem for so many reasons.

I’ll give Colby some credit for mentioning that Michael Jordan is the one person he’d like to meet.  Me too, Colby. Me too.

Top 50 Prospects: #27 – Travis d’Arnaud


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