Having not written anything recently, I feel completely lost as I try to put together something for Sombrero Nation.  I checked the files on both my work computer and home computer, and found out that I have eight different blog posts started, just waiting for me to finish them.  For whatever reason, I just have not finished anything I started to write.  It is time to fix that.  Forget the lead in.  Forget fluency.  Forget about even reading a “true” article.  All this is going to be is a collection of my thoughts on baseball.  I call them…Randoms.

–       Tim Kurkjian recently said he believes that the Astros will lose 300 games over the next 3 years.  Oddly, I am not surprised by, or in tears because of, this estimate.

–       Bubba Starling choosing the Royals over the Huskers makes me smile.  For one, I hate watching phenomenal athletes waste their time playing other sports when they could be playing baseball.  Secondly, Nebraska is where college quarterbacks go to die, and that would be a terrible endgame for such a gifted athlete.

–       I tried to explain that opinion to my mom at dinner last night.  All she could do is smile and nod her head.  At least she checks the blog on a daily basis.  Love you, mom!  Thanks for your support.

–       I wish Brettsta would write more for the Sombrero.  He has nasty wordplay skills.  (Editor’s note: I agree and welcome any and all submissions.)

–       Being an Astros fan is finally exciting again.  As much as I will miss competing, I find the direction the club is heading to be fulfilling enough right now.

–       Why is Carlos Zambrano so far removed from his own sanity?  Was he dropped on his head as a newborn?

–       I had a legitimate discussion with one of the 6^th graders in my classroom about how Justin Verlander should win the AL Cy Young.  I was very impressed, to say the least.

–       Will somebody please kick Bryce Harper in the junk already?  Seriously, this is inexcusable at the professional level.

–       Why do I keep falling for Ricky Nolasco’s Jekyll and Hyde routine?  That 33 era he posted the other night might have finally done it for me.

–       I really wish I had learned how to throw a cutter when I was in college.  It is just such a nasty pitch from the left side.

–       The Fantasy Focus baseball podcast on ESPN is excellent.  I listen to it everyday at lunch and thoroughly enjoy listening to the hilarity interspersed with fantasy analysis.  If you have not listened to it, I suggest you check it out.

–       I would really like to find out how many other people are tired of the Brian Wilson “I’m Trying Really Hard So Somebody Please Look at Me” show.  He should really just sit down with Timmy Jim, burn one down, and relax.

–       This was a fun piece to write.  Let me know if I should do something like this once a week.

This has been quite the week for Bryce Harper.  It started with him hitting a 480-foot, walk-off BOMB to dead center.  Then came the video of the phenom failing to run out a double play ball — failing isn’t even the right word; he basically came to a screeching stop.  And now, to culminate the eventful week, here is a video of Harper pulling his hamstring while going first to third on a single.

Considering that I live in St. Louis, I have the opportunity to watch every locally televised Cardinals game, which, as you will see, is both a good and bad thing.  While I admittedly find Al Hrabosky and Dan McLaughlin’s drunken diatribes to be occasionally entertaining (notice that I didn’t say enlightening), it’s the cheap, thoughtless commercials like the one below that make watching the broadcast worthwhile.

So, without further ado, here is quite possibly the most pathetic local commercial ever created, starring Cardinals skipper, Tony LaRussa.  Bite your lip, because it’s pretty rough.

A few thoughts and notes on this 15-second masterpiece:

– How does organizing a shoot like this happen? You can’t script something this brutal.

– Shame on the Cardinals for allowing this commercial to happen, let alone reach the air. Someone needs to lose their job, in addition to TLR, obviously.

– Wow…Martin Short’s career has really gone downhill. This is somehow even worse than Primetime with Jimmy Glick.

– I like how the re-enactment of a game-like situation is even complete with a TLR unenthused reaction.

– Shame on the person who talked Tony out of wearing the matching jean jacket.

– Who the hell would allow that weasely little guy in the dugout? Furthermore, could they have at least instructed him to eat an authentic ballpark food? Seriously, the guy’s eating

popcorn.

– Is this before or after TLR’s bout of casserole eye?

– I’d hope that the Vinson Mortgage Group client base has dwindled since this first aired.  But considering how many (dumb) people love Tony in St. Louis, he’s probably making bank.

– You’re only cheating yourself by pretending you haven’t watched it multiple times.

As we all already know, Bryce Harper possesses an insane amount of talent.  But over the months rumors have circulated regarding his perceived aloofness and poor makeup.  The 18-year-old phenom has been repeatedly criticized for his refusal to sign autographs; he blew a kiss at the opposing pitcher after taking him deep; and he’s nearly started several brawls.  In my opinion, however, the following video is the worst of them all. I could care less how big a prick he is towards the other team — in fact, I dig his competitiveness.  But for him to treat the game with such disrespect is wrong, and the fact that the Nationals organization doesn’t reprimand him is a joke.  Having said all that, he’s still easily the best prospect in baseball.

Top 2: Travis Hafner called out on strikes against Gavin Floyd

Top 4: Hafner grounded into double play against Floyd

Top 6: Hafner hit an RBI-single to center against Floyd

Top 8: Hafner homered to right against Chris Sale

Top 9: Hafner struck out swinging against Sergio Santos

Top 12: Hafner struck out swinging against Jesse Crain

Top 14: Hafner struck out swinging against Jason Frasor

Final Line: 2-for-7, HR, 2 RBI, 2 R, 4 K

Notes: Pronk’s golden sombrero on Tuesday night against the White Sox marks the first time a player has homered and fanned four times in a game this season.  Our favorite Vin Diesel look-alike wasn’t the only one to rack up the strikeouts, as White Sox pitchers fanned 19 in the 14-inning, 8-7 win.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 90