After subscribing to Baseball Reference’s Play Index, which is probably the greatest statistical tool ever created, I immediately delved into the one topic that’s been piquing my curiosity since the inception of this site: who has compiled the most four-strikeout games of all time?

At the top of the list are all of the names that one would expect: Reggie Jackson, Ryan Howard, Jim Thome, Bo Jackson, and Rob Deer. The only real shocker regarding the aforementioned players is Howard’s insane propensity for sombreros, which the Play Index helps quantify. After eight seasons with Philadelphia, Howard has amassed 19 golden sombreros and will surely shatter Reggie Jackson’s standing record of 22 – a total that took him 21 seasons to reach.

Even though there’s an endless bounty in the chronicling of both Jackson and Howard’s epic strikeouts, it is not the point of this article. Rather, I’m interested in directing everyone’s attention to another player on the list, Jay Buhner, who is fifteenth all-time with 13 four-strikeout games and holds a specific record that distinguishes him from everyone the field.

Buhner, who also led the league in total baldness from 1991-1997, holds the record for the most four-strikeout games without recording a hit. That’s right. In the 13 games where Buhner notched a golden sombrero, he posted a .035 OPS over 57 plate appearances, an achievement that is undeniably remarkable.

He did somehow manage to coax two walks (he doesn’t know how either), but failed to score a run on both occasions. So, of his 55 at-bats in those 13 games, Buhner fanned 52 times, meaning that he made only three non-strikeout outs.

Buhner’s record appears to be safe for the foreseeable future, as the next closest player is Corey Patterson, who is 0-for-37 with 32 strikeouts and zero walks in his eight four-strikeout performances, and remains unworthy of any significant playing time. Behind him is Jason Bay, who is 0-for-30 with 24 strikeouts in six games.

So, unless some organization decides to employ Patterson as an everyday player for several years to come, the record should be Buhner’s for life.

Your genius will be displayed here

Caption Contest Rules:

– Everyone gets two entries per photo.

– Anything after the first two are strictly for fun and will not count.

– Although the staff of the Sombrero is encouraged to make their own submissions, their entries will not be eligible for the final prize.

– At the end of the specified entry period — Friday, October 14 @ midnight cst —  all submissions will be compiled and voted upon by our staff.

– Please keep it somewhat appropriate; think like us — in other words, just don’t go there. If you have to question whether something is acceptable, it’s probably not.  We reserve the right to delete any caption that crosses the line and has the potential to genuinely offend our readers.

Prizes:

– The caption contest is currently structured so that there is a single winner, as voted on by our staff

– If we receive enough submissions, then a Win/Place/Show system will be implemented for the future, with each position receiving a unique, baseball-related prize.

– Winner receives the following:
1) Brett Lawrie Razor Rookie Card (his first RC)


2) a Golden Sombrero bumper sticker


3) a shout out as well as a link to your site (if applicable)

Remember, comments will be closed on Friday at midnight, so get your submissions in on time.

Good luck to everybody and expect more caption contests in the future!

How the staff voted for AL Willie Mays Award:
Mike: 1) Ogando 2) Pineda 3) Hosmer 4) Ackley 5) Trumbo
Griff: 1) Trumbo 2) Hellickson 3) Nova 4) Hosmer 5) Arencibia
Dee: 1) Ogando 2) Ackley 3) Pineda 4) Nova 5) Trumbo
Ryan: 1) Hellickson 2) Hosmer 3) Trumbo 4) Ackley 5) Nova
Jim: 1) Nova 2) Hellickson 3) Hosmer
Towel: 1) Hosmer 2) Hellickson 3) Nova 4) Weeks 5) Pineda

Final Vote:
1) Jeremy Hellickson, Tampa Bay Rays
2) Eric Hosmer, Kansas City Royals
3) Ivan Nova, New York Yankees
4) Alexi Ogando, Texas Rangers
5) Mark Trumbo, Los Angeles Angels

How the staff voted for NL Willie Mays Award:
Mike: 1) Kimbrel 2) Espinosa 3) Beachy 4) Freeman 5) Craig
Griff: 1) Freeman 2) Kimbrel 3) Espinosa 4) Duda 5) Barney
Dee: 1) Kimbrel 2) Espinosa 3) Ramos 4) Worley 5) Craig
Ryan: 1) Kimbrel 2) Freeman 3) Worley 4) Ramos 5) Espinosa
Jim: 1) Worley 2) Collmenter 3) Ramos
Towel: 1) Kimbrel 2) Freeman 3) Espinosa 4) Worley 5) Ramos

Final Vote:
1) Craig Kimbrel, Atlanta Braves
2) Freddie Freeman, Atlanta Braves
3) Danny Espinosa, Washington Nationals
4) Vance Worley, Philadelphia Phillies
5) Wilson Ramos, Washington Nationals

2007, Dane Cook

Dane Cook. Damn, I sure don’t miss that guy and I definitely don’t miss his postseason commercials.  He was exactly what we didn’t want in our face on a nightly basis during every pitching change and half inning.  I would hope that Cook was actually ninth or tenth on the studio’s list, but was ultimately selected by default after everyone before him wisely declined. TBS basically auto-drafted Dane Cook.

2008, Bon Jovi – We Love This Town 

I think the only person who enjoyed the 2008 commercials was Dee, but only because he used to gush about his obsession with Jon Bon Jovi’s hair.  True story.  It’s probably worth your time to fast forward to the 0:42 sec mark for a Jermaine Dye sighting.  See, I told you he wasn’t extinct.

2009, Bon Jovi – We Weren’t Born to Follow 

Two years in a row, TBS? That’s Jovi-overload, or as I like to call it, Joverload. Anyway, take everything I said about Dane Cook and apply it to Bon Jovi. Sorry, Dee.

2010, Kid Rock – Born Free 

After Dane Cook and a double-dose of Bon Jovi, I guess the next logical replacement really is Kid Rock.  Maroon 5 might also qualify now that I think about it

2011, Tinie Tempah – Written in the Stars

Honestly, this makes me feel as though I took Dane Cook and Bon Jovi for granted.  It almost negates all the excitement that comes with two game-fives on the same night.  Ok not really, but you get my point. Worst. Song. Ever.

 

 

It’s ok, people. Relax. I’m Jewish. I can get away with this.