Posts belonging to Category Mike Rosenbaum

Other than seeing someone get kicked in the ballsack, there is nothing more hilarious than a quality baseball commercial. There is just something about seeing a professional baseball player reduced to the goofy child that he really is that makes me respect them in a unique way.  As a youngster growing up in the ‘90s, I was privileged to witness the rise of ESPN, their programming and the hilarious commercials that they produced to stay ahead of their competitors. Specifically, it was the commercials that they used for Wednesday and Sunday Night Baseball, as well as the occasional Baseball Tonight clip, that remain a centerpiece in my baseball recall.

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Chad Qualls

It’s really a shame that the Diamondbacks’ season has gone the way that it has thus far because I actually enjoy watching them on tv and listening to Mark Grace’s drunken tangents.  Luckily I haven’t caught too many games over the past week, but based upon both the highlights I’ve seen and articles I’ve read, I’m sure that Gracie has been getting a little extra sauced.  I don’t blame him.  I know that I would be too if I were watching a bunch of asshole, “relief pitchers,” continue to blow leads.  Headed by the once-reliable-turned-atrocious Chad Qualls(4 BS, 8.46 ERA), the D’backs bullpen is currently leading the National League in appearances…appearances by assholes.  Entering Thursday, the bullpen had recorded only 13 saves while blowing 12– that’s right, they almost have as many blown saves as they do saves.  What assholes.

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Ever since I read Griff’s homage to “The Kid,” Ken Griffey, Jr., I have been brainstorming about how to do something similar.  My first thought was to scan each and every Griffey card that I have; Griffey cards have always been the shit and were a staple of my childhood.  Other than his rookie card, I can’t remember a Junior card that portrayed him as anything less than legendary- they all proclaimed that we were watching one of the greatest players of all time.

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Even though Votto has not notched a sombrero, he sure looks good in that hat

After watching both Jason Heyward and Mark Teixeira fall victim to the Platinum Sombrero over the weekend, I thought it would only be appropriate to reflect on all of the golden and platinum sombrero performances this season.  Some of the names on the list may surprise you, most of them will not.  For those of you who may not have noticed, there is a scrolling ticker in the top, left-hand corner of the site that offers an up-to-date list of every player that has notched either a 4 or 5 strikeout game.  Regardless, here is the current, chronological list in an easy to read format, as well as a few notes about its constituents.

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When will that asshole Joe West be stopped?  On Friday night, West added to his already long rap sheet of abuse of power with his ejection of the Nationals’ Ian Desmond in the bottom of the 7^th.  After tagging from 2^nd to 3^rd on a fly ball to the center, Desmond over slid the bag with a pop-up slide but was called safe by third base umpire Paul Schrieber.  After Dusty Baker complained, the umpires lead by crew chief Joe West, gathered to discuss the play and ultimately ruled that Desmond was in fact out.  Frustrated with the ruling, Desmond dropped his helmet to the ground and was immediately ejected by West.  Much like when he tossed Mark Buehrle and Ozzie Guillen on May 26^th, the ejection was unprompted and absolutely preposterous.  Maybe it wouldn’t anger me and the rest of baseball so much if West didn’t immediately waddle off after the ejections, showing no desire to explain himself and avoiding confrontation at all costs like a complete coward.  What a country-music-singin’ asshole. It’s absurd that we are so concerned about the accuracy of umpires’ calls when we have fat assholes like Joe West sucking the life out of professional baseball games.  Despite it’s significance to the game, Jim Joyce’s screw up was part of umpiring and part of the game.  Joe West’s screw up(s) is just the product of him being a genuine, egocentric asshole.  Major League Baseball needs to step in and put a stop to Joe West before somebody decks him on the field- seriously.   Then again, I guess it’s hard to can somebody when they are already only being paid in Cracker Barrel gift certificates.