Another Jose Canseco Twitter Confessional | The Golden Sombrero Baseball Blog | MLB, Fantasy, College & High School Baseball News

Another Jose Canseco Twitter Confessional

After taking a short break from Twitter this week, I for some reason felt compelled to check it last night before bed.  Instantly, I noticed that my feed was littered with tweets from none other than Jose Canseco.  As we are all well aware, Jose is, well, he’s Jose.  He’s that former high-profiled athlete turned celebrity, except the only person who believes he is a celebrity, is the delusional Jose himself.

Having developed a knack for unprompted disclosures over the years, Jose’s love affair with Twitter was inevitable.  It’s as if the service was created solely for his use…and Chad Ochocinco’s, of course.  Anyway, Jose was at it again late last night, and I thought that I would take a few minutes this morning to dissect a few of his most personal thoughts:

I’m sorry, Jose, but how exactly will you show that steroids are overrated? By getting a contract? Do you have new evidence to present on Mark McGwire’s behalf? I can’t imagine that Mac wants you to vouch for him these days.

It’s interesting that Jose reached out to Sandy Alderson and the New York Mets considering that he would be forced to play in the outfield.  What’s even more interesting, or insulting if you’re a Mets fan, is the fact that he chose not to first offer his services to the Pirates and Astros.

It’s obvious that Jose does not enjoy being poor.  That’s why I have my suspicions that Jose and this “baseball assistance team” might share the same address.  If he could have just provided a link to the organization, then all of this could have been immediately cleared up.  Then again, Jose’s Twitter profile does link to his personal site, josecanseco.com, which as you will see, does not exist.

Quit being so melodramatic Jose, you can’t fool us into believing that you’re actually human.

Based upon Jose’s grammar and use of punctuation, as well as the overall lack of reasoning displayed in his tweets, I can’t help but feel that the apology should be directed towards the editor of Juiced.

Jose actually hit in a batting cage last weekend, right after he rode the bumper cars and played 18 holes of mini-golf.

His usual therapy consists of buying undersized shirts and leaving voice messages for people who will wisely never call him back.

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