–  Congrats to Tim Wakefield on his 200^th win.  Dude is 45 (2^nd oldest pitcher to ever record 200 wins btw) and throws a flippin’ knuckleball.  That tells you a lot about the guy.

–  Was J.P. Howell actually crying in the dugout after giving up that dinger to Matt Weiters?  I wonder what Jimmy Dugan would have said to him.

–  Does anybody else think that Charlie Furbush might have been a beaver trapper in some previous life?  And was Doug Fister a former Gonzo style actor?  Where does Seattle find these names?

–  I am not sure which one of these home runs got out of the yard faster, but I would have been getting out of the way of both Ryan Braun’s walk-off and Josh Hamilton’s laser. (Unless I had a glove of course…but I am no longer 7-years-old and when I go to games my hands hold beer.)

–  Speaking of homeruns, I am unsure of which homerun swing is more fun to watch…that of a fat kid named Prince, or the swing of a miniature named Dustin?  Either way, I love watching these two guys take hacks.

–  I loved watching Gerardo Parra drop trou (short for trousers you morons) and squeeze out a Clevland Steamer all over a Hong-Chih Kuo’s fastball after getting buzzed.  And I appreciated not only his massive pimping of that homerun, but that he looked at Kuo and grabbed his nuts after the up and in pitch…classic.

–  Troy Patton got the 1^st win of his big league career last night.  Congrats buddy.  I was fortunate enough to be teammates with Troy at the 2003 Tournament of Stars and watched him mow through hitters like a riding lawnmower.  Congrats Troy, it’s about time you got that W.

–  Does Rick Ankiel ever look back on his past and think, “Why did I ever waste time trying to pitch?”  Probably not, but I think that after watching him throw out yet another runner last night.

–  And to close out this edition of Changeups and Screwballs, the way he has done 600 times for the Yankees, is Mariano Rivera.  He’s closed out every last game with one team, and one pitch.  Congrats, Mariano.

Bottom 1: Kelly Johnson struck out swinging against Tim Wakefield

Bottom 3: struck out swinging against Wakefield

Bottom 6: struck out swinging against Franklin Morales

Bottom 7: grounded out to first against Daniel Bard

Bottom 8: struck out swinging against Matt Albers

Final Line: 0-for-5, 4 K

Notes: With players like Adam Dunn, Ryan Howard and Mark Reynolds playing nearly everyday—well, I guess not so much Dunn these days—it’s hard to believe that Kelly Johnson is now tied for the league lead in golden sombreros.  Tied with Adam Dunn and Grady Sizemore with three, Johnson’s latest achievement came against the Boston Red Sox on Wednesday night.  The second baseman’s strikeout rate sits at a career-high 27.6% and his OPS is down over 150-points.  And after this season, it’ll be interesting to see if Johnson will be factored into their long-term plan. (The same can be said regarding the Diamondbacks and Aaron Hill.)

Total 2011 Sombreros: 109

Top 2: Carlos Santana struck out on a foul tip against Tim Wakefield

Top 4: Santana struck out swinging against Wakefield

Top 6: Santana struck out swinging against Wakefield

Top 8: Santana struck out swinging against Randy Williams

Final Line: 0-for-4, 4 K

Notes: To say that Santana struggled against Wakefield’s knuckie would be a gross understatement.  In fact, Santana was so baffled by the pitch that he actually turned around to face him right-handed for his third at-bat.  As you can see above, it didn’t matter; his golden sombrero was meant to be.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 84