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Playing LOL-ball: Funniest names in baseball history

What’s in a name? A great many syllables, if you’re Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish. But while the former journeyman pitcher’s title is impressively weird, it has many rivals – most of them old-timey – for the goofiest name in professional baseball history.

I’ve compiled a brief, unordered list of those names. Who is the funniest? And whom, as I quickly scoured over a century of data, did I unjustly overlook?

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Golden Sombrero: Jack Cust

You know things are bad when the Mariners are about to give up on you…

Top 1: Jack Cust called out on strikes against Justin Verlander

Top 4: Cust struck out swinging against Verlander

Top 5: Called out on strikes against Verlander

Top 8: Called out on strikes against Al Alburquerque

Top 9: RBI double off of Brad Thomas

Final Line: 1-for-5, 2B, RBI, 4 K

NOTES: With his golden sombrero against the Tigers on Wednesday, Cust has now fanned 29 times in 79 at-bats and sports a .177/.316/.203 slash line.  The fading slugger has struck out multiple times in eight of his 22 games.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 14

Poll: Which speedster’s slow start is more concerning?

For as many hot starts as there have been across Major League Baseball, there have also been an alarming number of terrible starts.  Considering that we are now two and a half weeks into the season, it may be time to borderline-panic with some players, or if you are big league or fantasy manager, at least begin to consider an alternative.  For some players that may mean a trip to the minor leagues, while for others it may mean more days off and a possible platoon scenario.

One thing I’ve noticed thus far: several players known for their wheels simply aren’t hitting, and more significantly, aren’t getting on base.  So, I thought I’d poll our readers to find out which speedster’s slow start has been the most concerning: Brett Gardner, Chone Figgins, Austin Jackson, or Carl Crawford.

[poll id=”6″]

Pandemonium in the Parking Lot and Other Stories: What I Learned During Spring Training

Spring Training is a wonderful time of year.  It portends warmer weather, hope for the future and of course, the beginning of a brand new baseball season.  As someone whose spirits lift dramatically at the mere utterance of the words “pitchers and catchers report” each February, I truly believe that Spring Training conveys much more than simply “preseason baseball”, as an ignorant colleague of mine spoke of it a few days ago.  However, one very important aspect of Spring Training that is not often mentioned is its educational power.  While players learn offensive strategies, signs and new practice drills, managers and executives take a look at their teams and try to learn as much as possible about each player’s level of talent and where their skills would be best used to begin the upcoming season.

The educational process does not stop there, however.  To the contrary, even the average fan can pick up insights into the lives of those around the game, gain a better understanding of the motivations of Maricopa County’s aging population, and garner plenty of other valuable information simply by staying around the game they love in the middle of March.  In no particular order, here are some of the important life lessons my dad and I gleaned from our father-son trip to the Valley of the Sun.

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Golden Sombrero: Ryan Langerhans

Ryan Langerhans records golden sombrero against Oakland (4/1/2011)

Top 2: Langerhans grounds out to second baseman Mark Ellis

Top 4: Langerhans strikes out swinging against Trevor Cahill

Top 5: Langerhans strikes out swinging against Jeremy Blevins

Top 7: Langerhans called out on strikes against Craig Breslow

Top 9: Langerhans strikes out swinging against Michael Wuertz