Since its inclusion in 1985, I have always felt that the home run derby was, without a doubt, the highlight of the All-Star break.  There was nothing more exciting than watching the most prolific home run hitters put on an unparalleled display of power, as a way of giving back to the major league baseball fan base.  Baseball’s best power hitters seemed honored to be selected for the derby, and it was clear that they were whole-heartedly competing.

However, that was then.

Now, the home run derby is an embarrassing, lesser version of what it once was, featuring out-dated commentators and shitty, intolerable music that can be heard three states over.  It has become an overly publicized, commercial event that fails to recognize and compliment the most impressive players in baseball.  What happened to the days where guys like Ken Griffey, Jr., Frank Thomas, Juan Gonzalez and Jim Thome battled each other, round by round, while creating an electrifying environment within the given park?  I’d prefer a derby featuring juicers like McGwire and Sosa than the anticlimactic atmosphere that I had to sit through last night.  I thought that baseball’s all-star game and home run derby actually reflected the best players in baseball?  It seems as though the derby has now become an event much like the Pro-Bowl, where the players would rather protect their bodies and swings than participate in an elite event that was once a highlight of the MLB season.  It’s a running joke.

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As I was browsing Sports Illustrated’s archive of covers, I came across something so disturbing that it forced me to reevaluate their legitimacy, and consider a moratorium on my ‘Classic Sports Illustrated Covers’ series.  Sure, I know that it is part of their business to market what is trending across sports, but it is not their business to disgrace living legends.  I get that Jeff Francoeur was one of the most exciting, young, baseball players when he graced the cover in 2005, but there is no way that Sports Illustrated could have honestly believed that he was Cooperstown bound.  To make matters worse, SI’s contentious cover proclaimed Francoeur as “The Natural,” exactly as it did when Ken Griffey, Jr. burst on the scene in 1990.  Comparing an over-producing rookie to what Junior had done in the 15 years since that first cover is a blatant insult.  Hell, even Robert Redford should be pissed off.

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Part 4 of my series is dedicated to the Seattle Mariners. Technically, it should really be dedicated to one of the toughest looking players in baseball history, Jay Buhner. Many years ago I saw a Mariners’ commercial that featured Jay Buhner, using his shiny, bald head to reflect sunlight into the opposing hitter’s eyes. I know, genius.

Since then, I have been unable to find it despite my best efforts combing the intraweb and plugging keywords like: “bald guy,” and “sweet jesus look at that bald guy!” into every major search engine. Luckily, much like that Buhner commercial, the Mariners have made plenty of other classic commercials, many starring some of the better players of the past 2 decades.

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Ever since I read Griff’s homage to “The Kid,” Ken Griffey, Jr., I have been brainstorming about how to do something similar.  My first thought was to scan each and every Griffey card that I have; Griffey cards have always been the shit and were a staple of my childhood.  Other than his rookie card, I can’t remember a Junior card that portrayed him as anything less than legendary- they all proclaimed that we were watching one of the greatest players of all time.

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Legendary college hoops coach John Wooden passed away last Friday, June 4.  The renowned strategist and mentor, best known for his 10 titles in 12 seasons at UCLA, was ninety nine years young.  Wooden was revered by those who played under his tutelage, remembered fondly as a strict disciplinarian and master motivator.  He accumulated a vast amount of wisdom throughout his years, eventually earning the nickname the Wizard of Westwood.  Since his death many articles have been written sharing some of his greatest nuggets of knowledge.  The old man really was a modern day Confucius, and his words will surely be passed down for generations to come.  While reflecting on some of these axioms, it occurred to me that many could be useful in either describing or advising some of our greatest sports heroes.  So call me Big Pun, because what we’ve got here is a list of proverbs from Mr. Wooden himself dedicated to some of sport’s biggest stars

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