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The Golden Sombrero presents MLB Look-alikes: Curtis Granderson and Dule Hill

Like we don’t know he’s ridiculously bald under there…

Bottom 1: Dustin Pedroia struck out swinging against Ervin Santana

Bottom 4: Pedroia struck out swinging against Santana

Bottom 6: Pedroia flied out to right against Rich Thompson

Bottom 8: Pedroia struck out swinging against Fernando Rodney

Bottom 9: Pedroia grounded into a force out against Jordan Walden

Bottom 12: Pedroia struck out swinging against Trevor Bell

Final Line: 0-6, 4 strikeouts

Notes: Pedroia’s golden sombrero against the Angels on Wednesday was the first by a Red Sox player this season.  The impressive feat, as well as the fact that the game ended shortly after 2:45 am est, was enough for Terry Franconca to hold Pedroia out of the line up on Thursday

Total 2011 Sombreros: 18

When I last wrote about my first fantasy exploits, I was losing in the first week with only three days left. My staff was performing poorly, and I was freaking out in front of my computer screen while Madison Bumgarner, Matt Thornton, and Ted Lilly tried to sabotage my team. After an awkward first week, my staff looked up the definition of “pitcher” in the Oxford-English dictionary and realized what they were doing didn’t fall under those guidelines—and they did something about it (or I made a move). We’ve been through four weeks of heated battles, and I thought I’d give the reader a breakdown of each week, including my weekly moves (henceforth referred to as “Strategery”), best hitter (“Neck Snapper”) and best pitcher (“Cash Checker”). It goes a little something like this:

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Classic BUpton: walk-off HR on Tuesday, golden sombrero and an ejection on Wednesday

Bottom 2: B.J. Upton struck out swinging against Brandon Morrow

Bottom 4: Upton called out on strikes against Morrow

Bottom 6: Upton called out on strikes against Morrow

Bottom 9: Upton called out on strikes against Frank Francisco

Final Line: 0-4, 4K (three looking)

Notes: When will this guy finally put it together? His golden sombrero on Wednesday lowered his season average to .238 and his home average to .197.  After being called out on strikes in the 9th, Upton lost his cool, slamming his bat and helmet and possibly making contact with the umpire.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 17

What’s in a name? A great many syllables, if you’re Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish. But while the former journeyman pitcher’s title is impressively weird, it has many rivals – most of them old-timey – for the goofiest name in professional baseball history.

I’ve compiled a brief, unordered list of those names. Who is the funniest? And whom, as I quickly scoured over a century of data, did I unjustly overlook?

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