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Playing LOL-ball: Funniest names in baseball history

What’s in a name? A great many syllables, if you’re Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish. But while the former journeyman pitcher’s title is impressively weird, it has many rivals – most of them old-timey – for the goofiest name in professional baseball history.

I’ve compiled a brief, unordered list of those names. Who is the funniest? And whom, as I quickly scoured over a century of data, did I unjustly overlook?


Sunday Night Baseball Liveblog: Phillies vs. Mets

Golden Sombrero: Ryan Howard (again)

Two golden sombreros in three days for Howard

Top 2: Ryan Howard struck out looking against Tim Stauffer

Top 4: Howard struck out swinging against Stauffer

Top 6: Howard struck out looking against Stauffer (Really?)

Top 9: Howard struck out swinging against Heath Bell

Top 11: Howard rips go-ahead two-run double off of Chad Qualls.

Final Line: 1-for-5, 2B, 2 RBI, 4 K

NOTES: The golden sombrero on Saturday was Howard’s second in his last three games and second of the season overall.  After starting the season red hot, Howard has cooled off significantly.  As we all have witnessed during previous seasons, the strike outs start adding up when Howard is slumping.  In his 88 plate-appearances this season, the big man has already fanned 23 times (not including Sunday’s results).  Since Mark Reynolds is yet to record a sombrero — although he is 2 for his last 29 with 10 strikeouts — I’ve gone and added a Ryan Howard Sombrero Counter, which can now be found on our left side bar.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 11

Golden Sombrero: Ryan Howard

Maybe a Ryan Howard Sombrero Tracker would be more appropriate…

Top 1: Ryan Howard struck out swinging against Mat Latos

Top 3: Howard struck out swinging against Latos

Top 4: Howard called out on strikes against Latos

Top 7: Howard struck out swinging against Corey Luebke

Top 9: Howard grounds out to second baseman against Chad Qualls

Final Line: 0-5, 4 strikeouts, 6 LOB

NOTES: Howard’s golden sombrero disrupts the trend of sombreros by leadoff hitters, as he becomes the biggest name to record one this season.

Total 2011 Sombreros: 10

*Be sure to check out the additional sombrero coverage over at for a more detailed and less graphic-based assessment of baseball’s most impressive feat.

Sombrero Staff Prognostications: Mike’s 2011 Predictions

National League

West Division

1.     Los Angeles Dodgers

2.     San Francisco Giants

3.     Colorado Rockies

4.     Arizona Diamondbacks

5.     San Diego Padres

Central Division

1.     Cincinnati Reds

2.     Milwaukee Brewers

3.     St. Louis Cardinals

4.     Chicago Cubs

5.     Pittsburgh Pirates

6.     Houston Astros

East Division

1.     Philadelphia Phillies

2.     Atlanta Braves

3.     Washington Nationals

4.     New York Mets

5.     Florida Marlins

Wild Card: Atlanta Braves


Phillies def. Reds in 5

Braves def. Dodgers in 4


Braves def. Phillies in 6

Series MVP: Jason Heyward