{"id":3785,"date":"2011-05-04T09:00:40","date_gmt":"2011-05-04T14:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/?p=3785"},"modified":"2011-05-04T11:59:20","modified_gmt":"2011-05-04T16:59:20","slug":"playing-lol-ball-funniest-names-in-baseball-history","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/archives\/3785","title":{"rendered":"Playing LOL-ball: Funniest names in baseball history"},"content":{"rendered":"

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What\u2019s in a name? A great many syllables, if you\u2019re Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish. But while the former journeyman pitcher\u2019s title is impressively weird, it has many rivals \u2013 most of them old-timey \u2013 for the goofiest name in professional baseball history.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve compiled a brief, unordered list of those names. Who is the funniest? And whom, as I quickly scoured over a century of data, did I unjustly overlook?<\/p>\n

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Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish<\/strong><\/a>, 1944-64 – Indians\/Phillies\/Cubs\/Reds\/Dodgers\/White Sox<\/strong><\/p>\n

McLish\u2019s father played for keeps. He wasn\u2019t allowed to name his other seven children, so he made Cal\u2019s name count<\/a> – a title reminiscent of everyone\u2019s favorite fictional U.S. President, Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Tony Suck<\/strong><\/a>, 1883-84 \u2013 Augusta Browns<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tony may have the most amazing name of all – not just because it would suck to be named Suck, but because that surname aptly described the catcher\u2019s lack of baseball prowess. Take a gander at the eye-popping stat line from his two year career:\u00a0 205AB, .151BA, .205 OBP,.161 SLG, .864 FP.<\/p>\n

Luckily for Tony, he probably wasn\u2019t ever razzed about his name. An old, but still insightful piece at Futility Infielder<\/a> points out that the use of \u201csuck\u201d as derogatory slang didn\u2019t enter into American lexicon until 1971.<\/p>\n

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Skeeter Barnes<\/strong><\/a> 1983-1994 \u2013 Reds, Expos, Cardinals, Tigers<\/strong><\/p>\n

From the window to the wall, Skeeter rarely hit a longball. He had just 14 in his career.<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Rusty Kuntz<\/strong><\/a>, 1979-85 \u2013 White Six, Tigers, Twins<\/strong><\/p>\n

With a name that sounds risky to Google image, Kuntz retired with just a .650 OPS and 5 home runs in his seven seasons as a backup outfielder.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/a><\/p>\n

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Dick Pole,<\/strong><\/a> 1973-78 \u2013 Red Sox, Mariners<\/strong><\/p>\n

Calling him Richard would be too formal.<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Urban Shocker<\/strong><\/a>, 1916-28 \u2013 Browns, Yankees<\/strong><\/p>\n

If Shocker were still around, perhaps he would pursue a hip-hop career in his native Cleveland.<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Razor Shines<\/strong><\/a>, 1983-87 \u2013 Expos, first base coach for the Mets 2009-2010<\/strong><\/p>\n

Shines didn\u2019t get much playing time, but with a sweet name like that, does it matter?<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Stubby Clapp<\/strong><\/a>, 2001 \u2013 Cardinals <\/strong><\/p>\n

Clapp\u2019s given name is Richard, which prompts the question: why didn\u2019t Dick ever stick as his nickname? It would have excellently complimented his last name.<\/p>\n

<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Pussy Tebeau<\/strong><\/a>, 1895 \u2013 Cleveland Spiders<\/strong><\/p>\n

Charles Alston “Pussy” Tebeau\u2019s career was short and sweet: He went 3-6 with two walks, one RBI, and one stolen base in two old-timey games. But he led the league in the percentage of sentences he ended with \u201cSee.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Johnny Dickshot<\/strong><\/a>, 1936-45 \u2013 White Sox\/Pirates\/Giants<\/strong><\/p>\n

His full name was John Oscar Dickshot, but his teammates called him \u201cUgly.\u201d<\/p>\n

A nice tidbit from his obituary<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Upon retirement, Mr. Dickshot opened a tavern in Waukegan, called the Dugout, which he ran for the next 20 years. His granddaughter, Michelle McDermott, said he would often call his wife at home from the bar, demanding that she look in his encyclopedia to settle a dispute over baseball trivia.<\/p>\n

A made-up tidbit:<\/p>\n

His batting song was Bon Jovi\u2019s Shot through the Heart. <\/em><\/p>\n

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Butts Wagner<\/strong><\/a>, 1898 \u2013 Senators, Bridegrooms (Brooklyn)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Albert \u201cButts\u201d Wagner wasn\u2019t quite as successful as his younger brother, Honus, but his name inspired at least one Sir Mix-a-lot hit.<\/p>\n

Also of note from his Wikipedia page<\/a>: \u201cWagner is depicted as a eccentric inventor during a boy’s long dream sequence in the book The Mystery of the Wagner Whacker<\/em>. Wagner invents an automatic bat machine, and the boy helps defend him from organized crime figures who want to steal the invention.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s supposedly fiction, but it sounds like a true story from old-timey times to me.<\/p>\n

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Boob Fowler<\/strong><\/a>, 1923-26 \u2013 Reds\/Red Sox<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hehe\u2026Boob.<\/p>\n

—–<\/p>\n

A former teammate at Grinnell College, Jim is currently working towards a Masters in journalism at the University of Iowa and is assistant editor at IowaWatch.org<\/a><\/em>. \u00a0Be sure to check out Jim\u2019s work at <\/em>Iowa Environmental Focus<\/a>, and also his blog, How To Train A Watchdog: (Mis)Adventures in Non-Profit Journalism<\/a>. Unfortunately, none of these sites have anything to do with America’s pastime. <\/em>
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What\u2019s in a name? A great many syllables, if you\u2019re Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish. But while the former journeyman pitcher\u2019s title is impressively weird, it has many rivals \u2013 most of them old-timey \u2013 for the goofiest name in professional baseball history. I\u2019ve compiled a brief, unordered list of those names. Who is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1300,2197,6,13,14],"tags":[2209,558,2208,260,264,639,2198,654,638,2202,2207,559,688,636,71,297,548,2206,2204,2201,584,574,2200,510,2205,2199,2203],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3785"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3785"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3785\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3806,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3785\/revisions\/3806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/thegoldensombrero.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}